I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
