More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
