just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
