This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
