i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
