i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
