i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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