I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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