your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
