Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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