my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
