I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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