Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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