We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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