Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
there was a trapeze. enough said
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
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She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
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The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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