From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize