i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
