My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
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she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
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I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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