I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I deserve to be covered in dicks
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
