A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
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he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
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So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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