What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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