she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize