but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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