Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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