Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
