tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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