everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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