I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
