Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you fell through a lawn chair
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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