we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
