Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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