I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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