She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize