It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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