Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
