maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
