you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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