So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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