OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
