I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
