Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
