I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
do nipples grow back?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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