Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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