A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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