Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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