My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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