Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
