I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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