I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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