so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
