I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
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And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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