My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
