It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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