Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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