It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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