I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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