I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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