By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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