Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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