He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
